


Ours

by iihappydaysii



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Hurt/Comfort, Light Angst, M/M, Medical stuff, Mentions of Cancer, Morning Sickness, Mpreg, Please Don't Take This Seriously, Sexual Content, Vomiting, it's just silly fun, it's not scientific, since phil talks about mpreg
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-21
Updated: 2018-04-21
Packaged: 2019-04-25 23:13:03
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,239
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14389098
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/iihappydaysii/pseuds/iihappydaysii
Summary: Phil takes a pregnancy test for fun and when it's positive, he worries that he might have cancer--but the test may be more right than he ever expected.





	Ours

They got drunk at Louise’s.

Her mother had taken the kids for the weekend so Louise had thrown a party, and they’d made mixed drinks and sat on the counters and the floor of her kitchen and laughed and knocked them back one after another.

Everyone except Phil. Phil hadn’t been feeling all that well recently. He’d been woozy and nauseous and a bit achy for a few weeks now, but it never came on like a full flu, so he’d just sort of accepted it. But, he knew if he had anything to drink he’d be sicking all over Louise’s kitchen floor. So he was just sipping Ribena and watching Louise, her boyfriend and Dan get pissed like it was freshers week at uni.

It was kind of funny. Giggly, pink-cheeked Dan was always a little hornier, a little gayer—his words, not Phil’s—when he got drunk. He was also a little freer with information.

“End the phandom discourse,” Louise’s boyfriend said. “Which one of you is the bottom?”

“ _Liam._ ” Louise gave him a look.

“I’m jok—”

“We’re vers as fuck,” Dan said, holding a bottle in his hand. He was sat on the floor leaning against Louise’s cabinetry.

Phil rolled his eyes and shook his head. “Really, Dan.”

“You can’t lie in truth or dare, Phil. The rules are unflinchingly strict.”

Phil tucked one leg onto the counter he was sitting on. “You realize we’re not playing truth or dare, right?”

Dan looked confused. “Wait… we’re not?”

“No.” Louise snorted. “You’re so drunk, Howell.” She started to laugh so hard she toppled back onto the floor, her head near Dan’s feet. She poked Dan’s toe. “Your feet are huge.”

“Phil’s feet are bigger,” Dan said. “By feet, I mean his penis.”

Everyone just started laughing again. Phil was blushing at this point and pretty thankful that everyone else was probably too drunk to remember this tomorrow.

“I need to piss,” Dan said. “Louise, can I piss in your sink?”

“No. Gross,” Louise said.

Liam laughed. “Piss in our sink. That would be so funny.”

Louise sat up and playfully smacked Liam.

Phil slid off the counter. “Nobody is pissing in any sinks.”

“The toilet is so far away though,” Dan whined.

Phil rolled his eyes. “I’ll help you.”

“My knight in shining armor, my great prince of the forest.”

“Just get your ass up.” Phil put out his hand and Dan took it and struggled to his feet.

Dan threw his arms around Phil’s neck and wobbled. “Hey, Philly?”

Phil sighed. “Yes, Dan?”

“I’m dizzy. Will you hold my dick while I piss?”

“No.” Phil rolled his eyes.

“But if you don’t I’ll pee all over Louise’s decorative hand towels.”

“You’re gonna hold his penis, Lester. I paid twenty-five pounds a piece for those towels.”

“Those ugly things cost twenty-five pounds?” Liam asked.

“Shut up,” Louise said.

Phil started to lead Dan off toward Louise’s toilet when he heard her gasp behind him.

“Oh my God. I’m coming too!” Louise said.

“What?” Phil blinked. “Louise, why?”

“Because it’s a toilet party.” She struggled to her feet and clapped. “Come on, Liam. toilet party.”

He put a hand on his sternum and laughed. “Toilet party sounds so stupid. I’m in.”

They all walked to the toilet, which was ridiculous, and Dan stumbled through the door, dragging Phil in behind him.

“Do I really need to go with—”

“Yes,” Dan said.

Phil gave in and shut the door behind him. Dan was struggling with the button on his jeans so Phil reached over and helped him with it.

“I love you,” Dan said. “So much.”

“Yeah, you better.” Phil said, tugging Dan’s fly down for him.

“Keep going.”

“You’re holding your own dick, Dan. This isn’t some opportunity for you to indulge that piss kink I’ll never understand.”

Dan tugged himself out and situated himself in front of the toilet. “Says the guy that once made me meow and wear a cat tail butt plug.”

“Oh my God. We can hear you!” Louise shouted from the other side of the door.

Phil was so embarrassed now he was considering flushing himself down the toilet.

Dan finished up and flushed the toilet. He walked over to wash his hands. After, he opened one of Louise’s drawers.

“Dan, don’t do that.”

Dan shut the door and Phil thought he was listening, but he just opened up another.

“ _Dan.”_

“Fuck, Louise,” Dan shouted through the door. “Why do you have so many goddamn pregnancy tests?”

Phil looked down. There was a whole drawer full, which was kind of strange . Dan started rifling through them.

Louise flung open the door and nearly hit Phil. “Shut up, Dan. I like to be prepared.”

Dan grabbed two in each of his large hands. “ Seriously, woman, how many uteruses do you have? Uteri? Uteruseses.”

“Uteri,” Phil said.

Louise snatched one from Dan. “Leave my uterus alone.”

“Oh my God. You know what we should do?” Dan said.

“What?” Liam asked, peeking around the corner.

“Pregnancy tests.”

“That’s stupid,” Liam said. “Let’s do it.”

So that’s how they all ended up crammed in Louise’s bathroom, waiting for four pregnancy tests—yes, they’d somehow talked a perfectly sober Phil into it too.

“This takes forever,” Dan whined.

Liam looked at his phone. “It’s been sixty seconds.”

“By the way, Dan yours would be the least accurate because you just peed. None of our pee is like prime pee. Prime pee is like your first morning pee. Have I said pee a lot?”

“Yes,” they all said simultaneously.

Liam’s timer on his phone went off and Liam grabbed his off the counter. “Let’s see if Louise knocked me up.” He looked down at the blue stick in his hand. “Not Pregnant!” he announced.

“The shock is real,” Louise said, reaching out for her own. “Me neither. Thank God. That’s the last thing my internal organs need right now. Another good smooshing.”

“That sounds terrible,” Dan said.

“I don’t know. Worth it for the miracle of life, right?” Phil said.

Phil had always had a weird thing about pregnancy. He liked the way pregnant women looked and just the idea of growing this thing inside you. It was like science-fiction cool. Then when he met Dan, it kind of became this thing he thought about in a different way. Like sometimes he’d see little kids and have a passing thought like “I wish I could have Dan’s baby”. He’d sometimes have those thoughts when Dan was being particularly sexy too… like something about Dan just activated something primal and inexplicable inside him.

Dan read off his pregnancy test. “Not pregnant, either. My organs are safe from smooshing.” He looked at Phil. “Your turn, babe.”

Phil rolled his eyes and kind of shuffled forward to pick the test up off the counter. It was one of the more expensive kinds Louise had said. The kind that actually say “pregnant” or “not pregnant”.

Phil looked down at the little white grey square. His stomach dropped.

_Pregnant._

He was dead silent. He couldn’t make his mouth move to form the words.

“Phil?” It was Dan’s voice but it was kind of fuzzy. He took the test from Phil. “Pregnant? Oh my God, Phil. This says your pregnant.” Dan looked over at Louise. “I think you and Phil got yours mixed up.”

“No way. I know which one mine was.”

“You’re drunk. Maybe you don’t,” Liam said.

“Phil, take another one,” Louise said.

“What?” he finally managed.

“Take another pregnancy test.” Louise handed him one from her drawer of pregnancy tests.

“I can’t pee,” Phil said.

“Go make some more ribena and start chugging, then,” Louise said.

Phil wasn’t sure what to do and his head was kind of fuzzy so he just did what he was told. He drank glasses of Ribena until he felt like he could pee again. Everyone else had stopped drinking, and they were looking sleepy-drunk now instead of goofy-drunk.

“I.. I think i can do it now.” Phil walked back to Louise’s toilet and unwrapped the pregnancy test. He remembered the instructions from the first time for the most part but he was still double checking. Suddenly, he was taking this a lot more seriously, which he guessed was silly, but he couldn’t help it. He did his business, put the cap on and then sat the test on the counter.

Phil opened the door to find the others, standing on the other side, listening in.

“I’m setting the timer,” Liam announced.

“Alright, uh, thanks.” Phil looked to Dan, who seemed a little more sober now, though he was staring down at his phone screen.

“Fuck,” Dan breathed quietly.

“What is it?” Phil asked.

“It’s… it’s nothing,” Dan said, but Phil didn’t buy it. Phil knew Dan too well for that.

Liam’s timer went off and Phil walked back into the bathroom to look at the test. It still said it. _Pregnant._

“Phil, what does it say?” Dan asked.

“Same thing. I didn’t get mine mixed up with Louise’s.”

Dan took the test from Phil. “Fuck,” he said under his breath.

“Why do you keep saying that?” There was an edge to Phil’s voice. He felt a little bad about it.

“It’s just… fuck, I’m sure it’s nothing, love. We’ll just phone the doctor’s tomorrow, that’s all.”

“The doctors?” Liam said. “It’s not like he’s actually pregnant.”

Dan looks pale. “I know but I was looking it up while were waiting and apparently, for a man, a positive pregnancy test can be a sign of… of testicular cancer.”

_Testicular cancer?He couldn’t possibly…_

“I… I want to go home, Dan.” Phil’s voice was soft. He wasn’t

“I’ll call you a car,” Liam said.

“Thank you,” Dan said to Liam, then stepped forward. He put a hand on Phil’s shoulder and then slid it down to his fingers and squeezed.

“Dan, this is scaring me.”

“I know. it’s going to be okay, baby. I promise.”

“Dan, you don’t know—“

Dan took Phil’s face in his hands—his always warm hands. “I fucking promise, okay?”

* * *

 

Phil woke up the next morning—well, by morning he meant almost noon—alone in bed. He rolled over to grab his glasses off the nightstand. He was still sleep-wobbly and he made his way to the toilet. As he was washing his hands, his stomach sank. The memories of last night came back. The positive pregnancy test. The words “testicular cancer”. Phil pulled his glasses off to splash some water on his face. He put them back on and left to go find Dan.

Dan was pacing in the kitchen, his cell phone pressed to his ear.

“Hi, yes, this is Phil. What’s the earliest I can get an appointment for? Wednesday?”

Phil just stood there, watching Dan walk. He was dressed already, which was unusual for him, in jeans and a jumper. Sometimes when phone calls were difficult for Phil, Dan would just pretend to be him and make them for him. He hadn’t done it in a while though because Phil was getting better about it.

“No, no thank you. Good bye.” Dan hung up the phone. He jumped when he finally noticed Phil.

“Hey, Phil, good morning.” He pointed to a plate near the toaster. “I made toast, babe, and coffee. Eat some.”

Phil looked at it, his stomach was a little queasy, but he definitely felt he needed some food. And he loved his brown, seedy toast.

“Who were you talking to?” Phil said quietly as he walked over to get some toast.

“Calling every office in the area trying to get you the earliest appointment.” Dan sighed. “Tomorrow’s the best I can do.”

“That’s fine, Dan.” Phil took a bite of his toast.

Dan poured Phil a cup of coffee, and put just the right amount of cream and sugar in it. He placed the cup in Phil’s hand. “Sit down and watch the telly. I’ve got to make a couple more calls.”

Phil took his toast and his coffee to the lounge. He sat down on the sofa and turned on the telly. He could faintly here Dan mumbling the background to whatever doctor he was on the phone with.

Phil took a few more bites and sips, but he just couldn’t get past the sour feeling in his stomach. And his mouth kept just felt sickly and over-wet. His cheeks and jaws were burning and he stood up from the sofa. He needed to get to the toilet, but as soon as he stood, he sicked all over their fluffy grey foot pouf.

_Fuck._

Dan came running in the room. “Phil, shit. Are you okay?”

“I’m—“ and Phil’s stomach twisted again and heaved. This time, he was prepared enough for it to hit the bathroom.

“I’m sorry.” Phil drew in a shaky breath.

“Jesus, Phil. Don’t be sorry. Let’s just get you to the toilet, okay?”

Dan helped him to the toilet and rubbed his back, while Phil vomited a few more times. Eventually, it was nothing but dry heaves. God, Phil was so shaky.

“You can sip some water for me?” Dan asked.

Phil nodded.

Dan helped Phil back to the sofa, bringing with him on their small bins. He sat it by Phil’s feet.

“Just in case,” Dan said.

Dan walked off and came back quickly with a glass of water for Phil, and some towels. He knelt down on the floor to clean up after Phil.

“You don’t have to do that,” Phil said. “I can—”

“Shush, Phil. It’s fine.”

“But I totally ruined your pouf. You love that pouf.

“I don’t care about the pouf. I care about you. And besides, worst comes to worst, I can buy a new pouf.”

Phil sighed. He knew Dan care about the pouf but was just being nice to him because he was sick. How sick, they didn’t know yet.

Dan took some of the dirty towels away, and dragged the pouf away from Phil, which he was glad for. The bitter, sour smell was not helping Phil through the queasiness.

Suddenly, Phil’s phone buzzed. He could hear it vibrating on the kitchen counter.

“Dan,” he called out as loudly as he could. “My phone. The kitchen.”

“I’ll get it.” Dan called back. “It’s your mum, dear. Do you want me to answer it?”

Phil thought about it for a second. He didn’t really want to worry her, but she’d also kill him if he didn’t tell her about something like this. In any case, he was thirty-one but sometimes he still needed his mum.

“Phil?” Dan asked again.

“Yeah, pick it up.”

Dan did. “Hey, Mum. It’s Dan. I’m, uh, okay. How are you?” There was a pause. “Here, let me take the phone to Phil.” Dan walked back into the lounge. “I will… okay… love you too. Here’s Phil.”

Phil took the phone, giving a gentle smile to Dan. “Hey Mum.”

“Hi, Philip, how are you?”

“Um, well. I’m okay, I guess. How are you and Dad?”

“We’re fine, honey.” There was a strange quality to her voice. “Dan sounded odd too. Are the two of you alright?”

Phil let out a breath. “We’re… Mum, I need to tell you something, but I don’t want you to get upset.”

She was silent. “Okay. You can tell me.”

“I’m going to the doctor’s tomorrow, um, we were at our friend Louise’s last night and we were just messing around you know. She had all these pregnancy tests so we took them, and well, Mum, mine came back positive, and like apparently that can be a sign of testicular, uh, cancer.”

“Oh, Philip. Oh dear.”

“I’m sure it’s fine.”

“Do you want your father and I to fly down there? We can book the tickets?”

“No, Mum. It’s… it’s fine. I’m like scared and stuff, but it’s fine. Dan’s here and it’s probably nothing, right?”

“Maybe you should have Martyn come. I’ll call him for—”

“Mum, it’s really okay. It’s just a test. We don’t even know if anything is wrong.”

“Well, you keep me updated, okay? When’s your appointment tomorrow?”

“I don’t know. Dan made the appointment. I’ll let you know everything though, I promise.”

“Okay.” His mum let out a breath. “I love you, Phil. So much. And I’m here for you whatever you need. Your father too. You know that. Everything’s going to be just fine.” She always said that in a way that was easy for Phil to believe.

“Of course, Mum. I love you.”

“Love you too.”

They talked for a little while longer, but Phil was feeling tired and a little queasy again so he got off the phone.

“I think i’m just going to spend the day in bed, Dan.”

“Okay, love.” Dan looked up at him from where he was kneeling besides the grey pouf scribbling it with all sorts of towels and chemicals.

“I really am sorry about your pouf.”

“Just get into bed, Phil. I’ll bring you some peppermint tea.”

Phil smiled at Dan, and felt a surging warmth between his ribs. Whatever else turned out to be true, he was glad he had a man who loved him the way Dan did. Who made phone calls pretending to be him so Phil didn’t have to make them, and who cleaned Phil’s sick out of fluffy poufs. He just loved Dan so much.

Phil was terrified for the appointment tomorrow, but he was glad Dan would be there at his side. Glad that whatever they faced in this world, they faced it together.

* * *

Phil hated the doctor’s. He had since he was a kid. He hated the smell, and he hated how it felt sterile even though they tried to dress it up with warm toned paint and mediocre art on the wall. 

Dan was sat beside Phil in the waiting room. He really wanted to reach out and take Dan’s hand. He was really, really tempted to do it, despite the few other people in the waiting room. But he didn’t. He just pressed his leg into Dan’s and let Dan press back against him. That touch was enough to steady him.

Dan leaned over and whispered, “Do you want a play a game on my phone together?”

Phil was about say sure when a nurse stepped out from behind a door. “Philip,” she said.

Phil stood from his chair.

“Do you want me with you?” Dan asked quietly.

Phil hesitated for a moment, then just nodded.

Dan stood and walked beside Phil over to the nurse. They went through all the normal procedures—they weighed him and took his pulse and blood pressure. He’d gained a little weight, and his blood pressure was a little high.

“That’s normal for him,” Dan said. “He doesn’t like doctors.”

Phil gave the woman a sheepish smile. “No offense.”

She smiled softly back at him. “None taken.” She stood up and pulled a large paper sheet from underneath a sink and handed it to Phil. “You can use this to cover up, but you should take off your trousers and your pants so the doctor can do his examinations.”

“Okay,” Phil said, his cheeks feeling warm.

“Sit tight then, dear,” she said. “The doctor will be with you shortly.”

“Thank you,” Phil said, and Dan thanked her too.

When they were alone, Phil let out a long breath.

“Are you doing okay, Phil?” Dan asked softly. Phil could see the concern on Dan’s face. He wished it wasn’t there. Wished Dan didn’t have to worry about him.

“Not really. I just want it all to be over with.”

“I know, baby.”

Phil slid off the exam table and tugged down his trousers an his pants. He felt silly in nothing but his t-shirt, sat on the exam table with that paper over his lap. “This is so embarrassing, Dan.”

“I’m sorry. I know you feel that way, but trust me, the doctors do this all the time. They don’t give a shit.”

They waited just a few more moments then there was a knock at the door, before it opened and a grey-haired middle aged doctor stepped in.

“Hello,” he said. “My name’s Cliff.”

He put his hand out to Phil and Phil shook it. “I’m Phil.”

The doctor turned and put his hand out to Dan as well.

Dan took it. “I’m Dan. I’m Phil’s partner.”

The doctor sat down on a rolling chair near a computer. “So, I hear you’re having some concerns about testicular cancer.”

Phil nodded. “Yeah, we were with some friends and took pregnancy tests as joke and mine came back positive. Dan looked it up and saw it could be a sign of cancer, so, uh, here I am.”

“Alright,” the doctor said. “Let’s just take a look here.” He put on plastic gloves. “Just lie back, if you would. It’ll be easier that way.” He slid his hand under the paper cover and a cold finger touched Phil’s balls. “I’m just going to feel around for any lumps. Have you noticed your testicles feelings any differently?”

Phil shut his eyes. He really hated stuff like this. It made him so uncomfortable and tense—this strange, cold hand touching him there.

“No, I… I haven’t.”

The doctor scooted back and threw his gloves away. “Well, I can’t feel anything at the surface. That doesn’t necessary tell us anything. Sometimes tumors are too small or in an awkward place where he can’t feel them. So, what we’re going to do is take your blood, and also get an ultrasound machine in here. See if we can find anything that way.”

So, they did. They took his blood—and then they dragged in an ultra sound machine and covered his balls in his clear, cold jelly and rubbed this strange wand all over it.

“So?” Dan asked, when the doctor pulled away from Phil.

The doctor let out a breath. “Still, can’t actually see anything. What i would recommend is waiting for those blood test results and we can go from there. If things are still inconclusive, I’ll refer you to an oncologist. Do you have any questions for me?”

“Uh, I don’t, I don’t think so,” Phil said.

“I do,” Dan spoke up. “He’s been feeling sick recently. Achy, tired, and he vomited this morning and yesterday morning and night as well, could that have anything to do with this?”

The doctor’s brow furrowed. “Those aren’t typical signs of testicular cancer, if that’s what you’re asking. You probably just have a stomach bug.”

They finished up at the doctor’s, and when they were back at their flat. Phil flopped down on the sofa. “Can we just binge Netflix all day? I really don’t want to work.”

“Of course, babe,” Dan said. “But don’t forget to text your mum.”

“I won’t… and can you order us some food or make a jar for two or something?”

“What do you think will be good on your stomach?”

“Anything,” Phil said. “I feel fine right now. I could really go for some pizza.”

“Pizza, it is.”

While Dan was ordering the pizza, Phil texted his mum and then made the stupid decision of googling ‘testicular cancer’. 99% survival rate—if it hasn’t spread from the testicle. 96% if it’s spread. 73% if it’s _really_ spread. Those were good odds, but there were real people in those one and four and twenty-seven percents. And the most common treatment for testicular cancer was the removal of one or both testicles. If they removed both testicles he’d likely have trouble getting and maintaining erections and he’d have to have hormone therapy for the rest of his—

“I bought brownies with pizza,” Dan said. “I hope that’s al—”

“I don’t want to lose my balls.”

“O…okay.” Dan sat down besides Phil on the couch. “I know.”

“I don’t want to lose my testicles, and not be able have to sex, and get chemo, and I don’t want to die, Dan.”

“Even if you do have it, the survival rate is really high, Phil.”

“I know.”

“And if you do have to lose a testicle, it will probably just be one, which won’t change anything.”

“Okay, but what if it’s two. You love sex. _I_ love sex.”

“Okay, Phil,” Dan said. “Breathe. It’s so unlikely that it would make you unable to have sex. Like super unlikely.”

Phil looked down at his hand. “But, like, what if it did?”

“Then, it would and we would live with it.”

“You’d live with not having sex anymore?”

“Yes,” Dan answered easily. “You’re the only thing that matters to me, Phil. Do I love having sex with you? God, yes. But don’t think I’d—”

“How long do we have until pizza?” Phil asked, an idea forming beneath his frantic worries.

Dan furrowed his brow. “Probably like forty minutes. Why?”

“Because.” Phil stood up from the sofa. “I’m planning on fucking you.”

“Phil, are you sure that’s a—”

“Yes.” Phil started tugging down Dan’s joggers, and put his mouth around Dan’s soft cock.

“Fuck.” Dan grabbed at Phil’s hair. “Oh, Fuck.”

Phil loved to give Dan head, loved looking up to see Dan looking back down at him, but Phil wanted more than that, so he pulled off and bent Dan over the edge of the sofa. He opened him up with wet fingers and the lube they hid all around the house. He fucked Dan and finished inside him, and then knelt back down so Dan could finish in his mouth.

He was wiping his sticky lips when the door buzzed.

“Fuck,” Dan said. “That was quicker than forty minutes.”

Phil leaned up and kissed Dan on the mouth. “I’ll get it.”

As Phil walked away to get the pizza, he felt his stomach sinking again. It had been nice in that moment with Dan, to think only of their bodies together, not of _his_ body, this separate thing that very well might be betraying him. But now it was all coming back, and Phil wondered how long it would take to know what his future was going to look like.

* * *

The next morning, Phil received a call from the doctor’s office. His heart was pounding as he picked it up. They went through the pleasantries, and then Dan was holding his hand. Squeezing it tight. 

“Your test results came back today,” the woman on the phone said. “And we’ll need to see you for another ultrasound.”

Phil just felt numb.

“There… or, or with an oncologist?”

“Here, first, actually,” she said. “The doctor wants to check something else before we go forward with referring you to an oncologist. Would you be available at nine tomorrow morning?”

“Y-yes. That’s fine. I’ll be there. Thank you.”

“Good bye. We’ll see you tomorrow.”

Phil sat the phone down beside him on the bed.

“Phil, what is it?” Dan asked, squeezing his hand tighter.

“I guess, the blood work wasn’t good or something and they want to do another ultra sound.”

“They already did an ultrasound!” Dan said.

“I know.”

“Why do they need—“

“I don’t know,” Phil said softly. “I have appointment tomorrow morning though. “You’ll come with again, right?” Phil asked, his throat tight.

“Of course.”

Phil drew in a shaky breath. He tried to stop himself from crying, but he couldn’t help it. Dan just pulled Phil into his chest and held him.

 

They were back at the doctor’s office again the next day. The nurse checked all of Phil’s vitals again—his blood pressure was even higher and was his pulse.

“Alright, Phil. The doctor will be in shortly.” The nurse started to walk towards the door.

“Excuse me,” Dan said. “I’m sorry. Doesn’t he need that paper thing, you know, for the ultrasound.”

The nurse gave them a strange look. “Not this time. No.” She turned her attention to Phil. “You can stay dressed.”

“O-okay,” he said.

With that, the nurse gave them another smile and walked out of the room.

“Was that weird or…?” Phil said quietly.

“You’re sure they said they were going to give you another ultrasound.”

Phil nodded. “Yeah. Maybe the doctor changed his mind or something.”

“Maybe…”

Phil let out a breath. “Forget cancer. I’m going to die of a fucking heart attack.”

Dan stood up from his chair and walked over to Phil. He laid a hand on Phil’s shoulder and squeezed. “We’ll get through. You’re AmazingPhil, right?” Dan said lightly.

“I feel like i’m going to AmazingVomit on your shoes.”

Dan leaned down and kissed his temple, and stroked back his quiff with his hand.

There was a knock at the door, then the doctor came in dragging an ultrasound machine. Apparently, he was getting an ultrasound.

“Hello again,” the doctor said.

“Hi,” Dan said. “Sorry, the nurse told him not to get undressed.”

The doctor gave Phil the same look the nurse had. Phil was starting to get really sick of that look.

“He’s fine.”

“I’m sorry,” Dan said. “I’m confused.”

“We’re actually going to be doing an ultrasound on your lower abdomen today, so all we’re going to need is for you to lift your shirt, okay?”

Phil looked at Dan like he was expecting him to have the answers, though he knew he wouldn’t. They were both just as in the dark here.

“Okay…”

“Now, lie back for me, Phil.” The doctor slathered the jelly on his lower stomach, and ran the strange wand thing over his stomach again.

Phil was glad Dan hadn’t stepped away, that he was still standing there, hand on Phil’s arm as Phil’s neck was craned awkwardly so he could try to get a view of the ultrasound.

“I’m sorry,” Dan spoke up in that tone of voice he’d get some time when he really wanted to make sure people would listen. “What are you looking for?”

“Just one moment,” the doctor said, looking at the grey black spots on the ultrasound machine.

There was a white noise whirring, and then he heard it, a thud, and then another, and the another. It was a quick, rhythmic beat.

“Well, I’ll be,” the doctor said.

Phil felt like he was going to panic. He could barely breath.

“W-what is it? What’s that sound?” Dan asked, his voice tight.

The doctor gave them that same look again, but there was something about it this time that was brighter.

“That sound,” the doctor said, “is the baby’s heartbeat.”

Phil felt all the blood rush out of his head, and he wasn’t even sure where it went. _Baby? Heartbeat? What? What?!_

 _“_ What did you say?” Dan managed.

“It’s rare, extremely rare. I almost can’t even explain to you how rare it is, but it _is_ medically possible for some men to get pregnant.”

“I want to hear it,” Phil blurted. “Can I hear it again?” It was really all he cared about in that moment. That fast, wonderful sound.

The doctor moved the wand around again until they can hear the subtle thumping. _Thump. Thump. Thump._ It was impossible. Impossible and beautiful.

Phil could feel his eyes growing wet. “ _Dan_. That’s… that’s our baby’s heartbeat.”

“I know,” Dan said, sounding choked up. “Oh my God, Phil.” He leaned down and put his forehead to Phil’s. A tear slipped out of Dan’s eyes and slid down his cheek. “ _Our_ baby.”

  


End file.
